giddiness

God give me just one more hourrrrr!!! Don't you just hate how time passes so fast in a day/month/year when you don't want it to? I'm running out of time.. stop all the clocks!!

It feels surreal that my dearest hons is leaving tomorrow. I hate the feeling of helplessness; to watch and be able to do nothing but wish her every good thing that i could ever dream of as she leaves. I was just talking to beatrice about some stuff regarding our friendship and we were getting pretty worried. yes, for you my beloved hons, because we love you so much.

Anyways, this week is the beginning of my tutorials. Its been a lot better; made some new friends and got to know some seniors. I'll be working with sophomores and juniors (hah mr terminator! i'm specific! hee) for my projects this sem so i'm really psyched! Its gonna be an exciting sem i can just feel those good vibes! wheee.. Less lonely nowadays, maybe cos 2 weeks of uni has more or less gotten me used to the way of life and the system. hahahaah. Don't feel like a lost sheep on campus anymore. Need to thank God and all the friends that have been here the whole time to support me and lead a shoulder in my dark hours. Spanks guysss! School work's piling up tho so i have to swing full gear into nerd-ness. wheeee something i've been actually looking forward to. HAHAHAHA. nerds are hawt okay! =))

Tomorrow's the day. I hope i can hold my tears back..

grrr grrr

i'm feeling restless.

sometimes life just gets to you, especially when you are rotting at home. i admit that i'm a very hyperactive person hence once i am not occupied with physical work or intellectual stimulation of some sort, thoughts just float through my head at random (which is very very bad!). i find it hard to comprehend how a person can sit there and just do nothing at all (not even watch tv, just walking around being... idle! eeks!) and feel absolutely at ease. one thing's for sure: i can't.

i need to DO something. now.

walking thru that abyss

i look to you Lord, you're all i need Lord
and when my world starts to fall
i look up on Your name i will call

be my hiding place Father

resistance

uni life = independence = initiative = no more class reps to order around = bidding rounds & cors & ivle = planning = lousy schedules = no time to meet friends even for lunch = Emptiness = LONELINESS

YESSSS, i am lonely. uni has been a pretty disappointing experience for me in terms of emotional growth. no friendssssss :((( i mean, you see hordes of faces everywhere that you don't actually SEE people anymore. its just masses and masses of human beings.

i haven't looked forward to going home so much in the last 5 years, eating takeaway Burger King from the fass canteen at home with ian littlewood readings and my macbook for company. pathetic indeed.

Stressss

so many readings to do, so little time... i'm drowning in workkkk. =\
hahaha but being a uni-nerd is quite cool, no?

back to my notes.

Bye bye Bev

Ahhh the familiar viscinity of xi zhen's manor..


YAPPP and ting hard at work before the party starts

edward assulting pam anderson's boobies =/

L-R: Gladiator, elf, anderson, silver surfer and (not very convincing, sorry seahh) joker. hahaha

me and ethel

scrubs

L-R: me, tash (paris hilton), and deborahh yap

this month isn't going to be an easy one. everyone's flying and it just gets quieter and quieter in this country that already had hardly any activities that we can do.

leaving on a jet plane.. i wish i could too, soon enoughhh i hope.

but anyways, GOOD BYE BEVERLY FOJ!! i'll miss you.

welcome to uni life

a new phase of my life has just begun so i kinda figured that i should change my blog site to emphasize and mark that fact. hehh

its lectures only for the next week so i'm gonna be pretty free. i've been quite a loner the past week in that maze of a NUS so please ask me out for lunch!! its been a challenge trying to match timetables with everyone.. suddenly the people that you once went for classes with has a totally different timetable from you. its a good thing i guess, eventually we will all go our seperate ways and i'm glad we are all going for what we want and what we like. but i'm just not used to this independence, this rather self-centred way of life, this foreign competition, the strange tension in the air as i walk past the corridors.. grrr and i have a ton of readings to cover by this weekend.

in other news, i can't wait to meet the AHSCones tonight! tho its supposed to be a 'bye bye bev' party, its been quite a while since i met the rest. we had a little arts fac reunion during lit lecture last thursday. strangely enough, we saw a creff lookalike in the lecture!! we never really leave ac do we? hahaha. perhaps there was too much that we don't want to let go of. sadly, reality reminds us that memories will only remain memories. haha so enough of this melancholy, i am happy and looking forward to tonight. its a costume party with the theme 'Hollywood' and darren instructed that we are to stick to the dress code STRICTLY and be PUNCTUAL. hahaha 2 things that we will never be able to do regardless of age or maturity.

photos to come and more soon.