restless

after another very long semester in uni, i realised how much i've missed out on in my rather passive first year:

- no internship
- no student exchange
- no mission trips
- no driving license
- no girlfriends that i made friends with that i can keep forever

maybe i've kept myself locked up in my lil shell for too long. maybe its time for stubborn ole me to just get my ass up and do something more meaningful with my life.

i've come to a sudden realization that i have physically lost most of my closest girlfriends: hons, e, nat, bea (so near but yet so far), hang, ethel, jolene huang, amanda, etc. its funny how we've all got our own thing going now and maybe i've gotten too used to the fact that we're all so grown up and our priorities are different from what they used to be a year or two ago. this whole 'they have their own lives to deal with so i shouldn't bother them' mindset is freaking me out. it only dawned on me when i called my boyfriend about three times in the last four hours cos i was so bored out of my wits (not to mention he seems to have a more exciting life than i do, and so many missed calls by me just makes me look desperate). have i come to a stage where i call no one but my boyfriend when i'm bored? is this going to be it for the next 3 years of my uni life?

perhaps these thoughts are just randomly zipping through my head cos i've been cooped up in my house for the whole day (and possibly the rest of the week). my study break isn't exactly working. on the contrary, its driving me literally nuts with the lack of human contact thing.

i shudder at the thought. so please girlfriends, come home soon and ASK ME OUT! (after my exams that is. hahaha)