scared

my heart has become callused.
i'm too scared of being vulnerable.
everyone tells me to be strong.
why is everything so unnatural?
fake a smile, telling myself to regain control.
pretend that it was just a bad dream.
fatigued from moving on.
i'm so tired.
i'm so frustrated with where i am.



i just want to run away.
confused and cynical.
when i see couples these days, the only thing that goes thru my head is 'hah, u guys aren't gonna last forever anyways.'
i hate my thoughts.
i hate my life.
will love ever find me again?
will someone please find me?



meanwhile, pls stay away from cold blooded es.