obstinacy

i live in a world full of stubborn people. i wouldn't doubt that i myself am a very stubborn individual. i want to do things my way and i won't cower till i realize myself later that my way sucked. but yet, i've learnt that if u keep ur ears closed and ur eyes shut and essentially lock your heart up with pride to the advice of other people, u might just be walking into a big fat trap and falling when u really didn't need to. sometimes its really pride that you have to put down, to acknowledge that you are wrong and maybe your ideas on life aren't all that true.

sometimes i wonder where the fine line between listening to advice and listen to your heart is drawn. i think its highly naive for any individual to swing to the extremes.

the individual i live with, yes my sister, is just so convinced of her own way that she refuses to listen to anyone else. her initial response to anything that a person says is filled with negativity. its okay to doubt what people say or take with a pinch of salt, but its another thing to be cynical or negative. its like she's living in a world full of gray clouds. no sunlight can break thru. living in her own lil bubble, so positive that she is right about her life and her goals as she takes her time. wake up girl!! it irks me so much more because she is my sister. i pity her at times to have someone like me for an elder sister. often having my own expectations of her imposed on her. yet when i think about it, i don't think i expect a lot out of her. it just scares me now, that she is SITTING AT HOME AND BUMMING. it scares me that she hasn't worked a day in her life, and she's very okay about it. it scares me that her view of the world and her future is so myopic. call me judgmental, but seriously can/should i just let her go by for the next 3 months like that till schools starts again? she reminds me very much of a certain other person...

i am so not going to care anymore. i mean, why should i even bother. YA, LIKE SHE SAID, I SHOULDN'T MEDDLE IN HER LIFE COS ITS HERS ANYWAYS. why should i even bother getting frustrated with her since i supposedly don't even really care at all. i shouldn't care anyways, i was requested to keep my opinions abt her to myself. yes, i am just pretending to care.

fine. then i won't. and i'll just watch her stumble along when i can almost see the dead-end she's headed to, but she JUST REFUSES TO LISTEN COS SHE IS TOO DARN PROUD.

UGHHHHH!! i wonder if E has problems like that with sher and sar. i need to talk to u elaine heng!